Getting Older

by Peggy Covanic from her pinterest

           

Have you thought about getting older? How challenging is it? Or How scary?

Today, I have been talking with my close friends about it. 

“Hey….. We will turn into 27 years old this year”

Then she asked, “Are you lonely right now? Or worrying about spouse?”

“BOTH OF IT”

……….

YES, I will not denny it that I am worrying about that stuff. Who’s not? Tell me.

I am worrying because still…. I am not ready to marry soon eventhough there were kind offer of committments. I have doubt of myself. I still…… have many things to do and I don’t want to regret it later. 

My bestfriend’s husband said to me, “ Ya, if you have dreams, then just chase it, Kar. The important thing is to take care the relationship and communicate it.” His wife also said, “It’s good if you can’t fall in love easily, you will not fall to wrong person so often.”

Yesterdy, I cried. 

Oh why this stuff so annoy my head?

I even want to read kind of sad romance novel from Jojo Moyes - Me Before You. Yes, the 3 millions people in the world had read the novel and watch the movie (I am not included yet, But I will read and watch it).

The important thing that I want to do before married to the one I love: to pursue higher education - master. I really want it! My dreams since junior high school even I have it since elementary school at 5th Grade! (Bcs I watch Harry Potter and Really want to go to UK hehe)

Rarely, I write on my journal about my presents feeling, what I need, what I want, and My Manifestation too. Then, I will be alright again. 

I love my Job right now, because it demands me to always learn new things and it is my favorite things since child! 

I never knew before that being adult is hard like this. Especially the decisions should we make either right or false decisions. But its life? Init? either we win or we learn.

Again, the funny things are: My one year cat able to have sex and we expecting many kittens! reprirocal with me -their Babu… I am not afraid to have many kittens, but yes I still don’t want to marry and have babies.

I still want to be “myself”. Because, I know that being a someone wife will make me less myself. Why? Because, of couse, I will prioritize my husband, my little family. Maybe, there will less “me time” in the future, and I still want to be selfish right now. I am sorry but yes, I realized it. Someday, I will let down my wall and guard and open to someone who I deserved. 

Hope, He takes care of himself (eventhough I still don’t know who he is).

It’s like we still have many things to do

many dreams to pursue

but, suddenly, here we are getting older

and the tick tick times will not stop any second 

because only you have not ready yet

It wont wait

Never

Write in this blog really make my head clear again and not in the clouds anymore.